I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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