It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize