Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Randomize
