Don't you send me to vm
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I would fuck him just for his dog
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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