i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
