yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Randomize
