Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(917): View more from New York City

East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv

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(540): View more from Virginia

My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard

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(281): View more from Texas

He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

Houston, we have a problem

(781): View more from Massachusetts

where are u?

(617): View more from Massachusetts

Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.

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(810): View more from Michigan

She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.

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(847): View more from Illinois

I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.

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(716): View more from New York

I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.

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(812): View more from Indiana

Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.

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