You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Randomize
