please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
BRING THE BAGELS
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
