'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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