he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
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