no you cant smoke seaweed
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
