What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
