So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
