Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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