You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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