Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
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you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
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Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
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