like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Come on in and take your pants off
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