we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
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But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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