How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
