Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Randomize
