Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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