Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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