so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
