Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Randomize
