i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Randomize