a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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