She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
