the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
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