i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Randomize
