i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
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