Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Randomize
