mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
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