the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
