meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
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