Only a mothe r could love this liver
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
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