Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
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