The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
