Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
so let's talk penis.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
Randomize
