Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
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