they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
