i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize
