K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Randomize
