There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize