Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Randomize
