I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
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