it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Randomize
