I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Randomize