He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
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