You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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