dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
