You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Vodka?
Forever.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Randomize
