The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Randomize
