when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Randomize
