john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
