We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I think my moral compass just broke
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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