is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
He did a backflip because drugs
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
