Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
And then my night got REAL pukey
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
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