What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
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