I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
We just shotgunned beers for America
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
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