This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Randomize
