I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Randomize
