Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
